saltlakemusic
New Tool CD Coming May 2006 · Mar 12, 04:29 PM
Scroll to bottom for review of Tool: 10,000 Days.
This article contains hearsay presented using visually packaged paragraphs that sometimes require extra words like foray or Humperdink to balance out (ie. Last month there was this idea floating around that, in response to the infowar surrounding the anticipated new Tool album, the best way to recieve said information was through spiritual means. Josey wanted no part in this, of course, since his last encounter with a Ouija board proved psychologically disasterous. So I asked for the help of Summer and Dawn, two young school girls whose limited attention spans would ultimately defend them against demonic posession or any other sort of nasty transcendental side-effects. Diligently assuming their new role, the girls constructed an origami fortune teller based on the design Summer had been shown by a neighborhood friend several years older than her. This was not the method reccomended by our Tool info oracle Blair Blake aka Satan’s Little Helper, but we thought he would definitely approve based on his own history of expanding scientific variables.
Look! Spot the shameless Bob Saget moment in this paragraph: Summer and Dawn stood by with their device which would be implemented as an experimental control, testing the validity of information recieved via Ouija board. If data proved conclusive on both devices 2 out of 3 three tries, it would be recorded by our spiritual administrative assistant, Chad (whose ethereal knowledge is derived directly from Diablo). I couldn’t operate the ouija board alone, so I asked my neighbor Robert Hamburger to help. First we needed to contact an elemental entity, this is more difficult than it sounds. The spirit of water was unavailable for comment, the spirit of earth was available but gave us nothing but psycho babble, and the spirit of wind did nothing but waste our time with rhetoric. Robert suggested being a tad less grandiose and commune with whoever happened to be available. Ironically, it turned out to be the fallen ninja warrior Karakhassus (who also claims to have been incarnated as a nazi ninja, a Farraday Flashlight (aka Jerk-off flashlight) ninja, and a some kind of raping, snowman ninja). Lucky for us, Karakhassus also claimed to be a relentless Tool fan. exerpt:
Joe: Is there really a new Tool Album besides a re-release or live version of previous releases? If so, when will it be available to purchase?
Ouija Board: (Thumbs up) 0 6
Summer: Will the new Tool album be out in 2006?
Origami Fortune Teller: Yes
Joe: What month can we expect to buy the new Tool album?
Ouija Board: Ninja vanish
Joe: (Repeat last question)
Ouija Board: Goodbye
Just a few days later we learned that Tool had finished the first draft of the newest album entitled 10,000 days in Los Angeles. While we dont know what, if anything, to expect from this newest record, we do know that it was heavily inspired by Guitar Hero and quite retrospective of Saltlakemusic’s 5th article of faith which states: We believe frisbee golf to be the sport of God, and that dedicated golfers, regardless of their ability to drive onto the green, shall have a place reserved next to him hereafter. We also believe RTCWolfenstein and Quake to be the first-person-shooters of God. We also believe WOWarcraft to be the RPG of God. According to Karakhassus, who has lingered around Studio B for several years trying to get a sneak listen: when hearing the new album on May 2nd 2006, our faith in mind numbing, single solution kill simulators as creative vacations will be rewarded. Editing. What is this Editing you speak of?
Joe: Can anyone match my skill at Guitar Hero?
Ouija Board: FAG
Summer: Is Joe a fag?
Origami Fortune Teller: Very likely
Articles of Faith Section 5 verse 4, “Josey prefers Dance Dance Revolution, and thats really gay, but whatever makes him happy I guess. It may be worth your time to tote some cool fighting games or skate videos out to the bandroom, so when creative blockage occurs you don’t have to force it and come up with something cheesy you aren’t so proud of. DDR happens to be a good athletic workout, so that when you plug back in your blood’s still hot, but still: your relaxed and newly acquired focus can be redirected towards music again” From what little we do know about the newest album, we can confirm our previous belief in implementing distractions to overcome creative blockage, especially with video games and mushrooms. Guitar Hero happens to be even more addictive than Dance Dance Revolution, and we’ve been waiting since last summer to hear when the new Tool album would be finished. This is an open invitation for Adam, Justin, Maynard and my idol Danny Carey or for that matter, anyone who thinks they got skillz: bring it on with Frankenstein on expert. See what happens.
Something below should make this all suck a little less. This part has been underlined to make it look important.
Opiate (1992 EP) – This first album by Tool is awfully metal and absolutely awesome for an upstart band with very little experience (Keenan had performed with Children of the Anachronistic Dynasty in the 80’s). With several inserted songs from live performances at the Jello Factory like Cold and Ugly (my personal favorite) featuring the original bassist Paul D’Amour, Opiate sortof radiates a neighborhood hair band artistry. While we know they have talent, but hear alot of creativity being squandered by a stylistically “alternative” song structure, the mold of which finally breaks free on the last track Opiate. This is the song which set the phonic tone for all future Tool albums, which finally seemed to entropy with the more recent Lateralus. Can we expect a primal, 360 degree return on 10,000 Days? I sure hope so. “I had a friend once who took some acid, no he thinks he’s a fireman…Its kindof funny ‘till he pisses on your lighter…” fucking brilliant.
Undertow (1994) – After a smashing debut, Tool reverts back to the studio world to create one of most compelling and inspiring rock albums of the 90s. Simultaneously launching a creative promotional campaign, Tool crossed into the mainstream with the release of their first video Sober under the direction of Fred Stuhr. Who could forget that curious little meat man wandering the haunted house peeling away broken panels? Opening hidden passageways discovering the unsettling realities of his little isolated life, Sober attempts to dissillusion and disgust its listener with haunting, simple basslines and whailing guitar feedback. The album also calls home to certain lesser known but highly respected Tool classics like Swamp Song, Prison Sex and Bottom. It occurs to me that these songs have never really been covered with any respectable amount of talent, due to the incredibly personal and unreproducable chemistry between rhythm and melody, not to mention the incredible voice of Keenan, who sounds almost professionally coached at this point. 3 words: Dim Classic Rock.
Aenima (1996) – Paul left the band after releasing Undertow, wanting to pursue a different sound and style with his bass. Justin Chancellor had toured Europe with Tool as bassist of a little known project called Peach, when that band fell apart shortly after the loss of Paul, Justin jumped at the opprotunity to team up with Maynard, Adam and my idol: Danny Carrey, as they attempted to create a somewhat new-age, esoteric style on their first contemporary album approaching the end of the 90s era: Aenima. This album is nothing at all like the previous two, save for the music video interpretations of Adam Jones, who used alot of the same animated speed tricks established by Stuhr on actual living, breathing, choreographed persons (all of whom you’d not want to meet in a dark alley). The unique electronic drumming, only matched creatively by Niel Pert or Mecco, adds another fabled twist to the Classic Rock stylee heard on Undertow, morphing Tool into something more alternative, almost industrial than we could’ve ever imagined. Aenima tells us how to make Satan’s Eggs, Harry Manback lets us know he’s pissed and anxious, but most importantly: Maynard shares with us the secrets of “selling out” in Hooker with a Penis.
Lateralus (2001) – Aside from a collection of live material and music videos on a 1999 DVD called Salival, this band had virtually ceased to publicly exist before the release of this blindsiding progressive rock album, Lateralus. It takes a decisively serious tone compared to Aenima, evident from track one in which Adam’s courageous talent for sound manipulation swarms on stage in a continental blend of traditional and modern influences. For the first time since Opiate we also hear Danny Carey (my idol) expose his love for double bass pedal action, leaving him more vulnerable to criticism but recognized and appreciated for his high-risk, low reward, doom and gloom style of play. The tiny hint of jazziness which sometimes crept into songs like Bottom (Undertow) with Henry Rollins and Jimmy (Aenima) is by now extinct, replaced with very concrete rules of Tool songwriting. If Lateralus on the whole tends to bore you into a coma, dont be surprised. Money tracks like Parabola and…Parabola win our hearts in an instant, filling that void in our lives that yearns for “new Tool.” Unfortunately, Lateralus as an entire record satisfies few others besides die core Tool maniacs. The return to an amplified yet ground level approach, combined with progressive, track bleed-through continuity, awards Lateralus a highly creative and progressive, but mediocre album. Will it be taken another logical step on 10,000 Days?).
10,000 Days (2006) – If one actually took the mandatory 4 years to listen through the complicated 11 tracks on 10,000 days and reviewed it then, they may be right on the mark, but noone would give a fuck by then. So here goes: 10,000 days introduces very few new methods, even fewer new concepts, rather reintroducing older strategies and snapping them to the beloved Tool grid of gloomy mathematical, semi-progressive rock, this time using analog. The musical concept of Shamanism, particularly that of a techno-psychadelic nature, dwells deep beneath the crust of raw muscular coordination and proven muted chords and flowing, natural rhythms by the most creative rhythm section in the history of Rock and Roll. This album is the most incredible overall by Tool, not because of any particular mood or gimmick conveyed at any time, but because the band has reached such a level of expertise and unison, that utility and imagination have lost distinction in the perfect mix. Maynard also steps up his game taking risks with incredible payoffs, particularly on track 8; drug induced thoughts in a chorus of crackhead barbershop voices begging to be heard, but somehow through the years have been squelched stylistically. It is worth restating at this point, that 10,000 Days is an unprecedentedly concise and rythmic progression of the entire Tool sound. Since most songs are fine tuned medlys of chord progressions found on other albums, it can be stated rather empirically that 10,000 Days is the best of Tool’s best.
If you would like to snail mail the band your
thoughts and ideas about your universe:
TOOL
11271 Ventura Blvd. #505
Studio City, CA 91604
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